The Journey Begins

So it’s my turn to write on the Colombia Grace Foundation blog! Having a deadline has certainly helped me take some time away from all the madness to sit down and truly reflect on all that has been going on. So as I have learned in Colombia that it only takes 1 rock to scare away 2 or 3 stray dogs, I am going to write this blog for the beloved readers of the Colombia Grace Foundation blog AND the 1 or 2 people who actually read my own blog Hands and Feet. (Love you Mom!).

I am a punk of kid who is loved by an amazing God. He planned for me to be born in a sketchy Colombian orphanage, but adopted as a baby by an awesome Christian family. I was taught to walk in His ways and revere Him. And even through my own personal rebellion, He captured me. Though I enjoyed a superficial walk of faith for many years, by His grace I am being refined. As He stripped more of me away, a call to missions was placed on my heart. He never let me forget my past and therefore a burden for orphans and the poor has come forth. I returned to this country as a teacher in a very needy village outside of Cartagena. Last year, at a random pastor conference in the city, God introduced me to 2 guys who possessed a passion and vision my heart burned for. I left this divine appointment knowing God was calling me to join this ministry.

Have you ever let guilt, shame, fear, or inadequacy suffocate something beautiful the Lord was trying to do in your life? I almost did. After I met Josh and Mike, I left that church beaming like a 13 year old who just found out that Sports Illustrated makes a swimsuit issue. I could not stop praising the Lord for such an answer to prayer. The exhausting 2 bus, canoe crossing, and motorcycle taxi ride back to my “pueblo” had never passed so quickly. Yet, just like the infamous disciple of Christ, I began to pay attention to outside things and began to freak out. However, God is sovereign and continued to use adversities of living third world style and my personal struggles to refine this wretched heart. This year I began working with the gang just every weekend and in these precious moments He nailed some pretty tough convictions on my heart. So I took a step of faith that was leaving my teaching job to truly commit to work for treasures that will not be destroyed. I have no intention to looking back. I am exactly where He wants me to be and just saying those words brings a tear to my eye. God is worth everything we can offer Him. The only shame I have now is that it’s taken me so long to truly understand that.

So what the heck is going on here lately and what am I doing?

For you people who are probably reading this on my blog, the orphanage is called El Nido de Gracia (Nest of Grace). The Lord brought 2 families all the way from somewhere “in the sticks” of Oregon to a small village outside of Cartagena, Colombia. These wannabe “rednecks” have amazing hearts and are truly known by God!

The property at El Nido is coming along! Supposedly a free bulldozer will be coming soon to help us prepare the plot of land that will be Mike and Stacy’s house. The wood has arrived so the testosterone is flowing. I am betting Josh will be growing out his beard soon in order to prepare for this new manly task and I have noticed that Mike has been wearing a lot of cut-offs lately. So I think I either need to start smoking or letting my Colombian mustache capability take flight. Having this house built will then open up 4-6 beds in the main house for orphans.

Stacy and I have been working to organize the “El Nido School.” Things have been improving each day but we have all been praying about help in the school. Our “Spanglish” skills can only take us so far when we are teaching Colombian children who can barely read themselves. However, the Lord is faithful by giving us grace in these moments and by also bringing us help! Please pray for 2 amazing woman who are and will be doing a tremendous work with these kids, their names are Luz Mercy and Darlys.

God is continuing to strengthen His church here in Turbana. Please join us in prayer as we ask the Lord to reveal a place within the pueblo that we could possibly have hold services. Seeing the van just broke down today (broken axel), I might be unable to pick up the regular 50+ people this Sunday. Having a place within town will be a tremendous blessing and so we have been asking the Lord to provide this. Also a cool story was that Luis Fernando was super sick last Sunday, but just like when Jordan had the flu in Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals against the Jazz, he came out and “lit it up.” The Lord is using this little guy in such a mighty way. Please remember Him as he continues to recover from this illness.
While there is a million cool but not important things to share like how the dogs we have enjoy eating our chickens, how I learned to ride a very stubborn donkey, Josh had to get a few stitches in his knee from a run-in with his machete and the assortment of things that bring color to this ministry, nothing is more worth writing about than the two brothers named Geiner and Carlos who just recently were brought to us and what the Lord is teaching us.

We have known about the possibility of them coming to live with us for a while. Without going into all the wretched things they have seen in their short 7 and 10 year lives, they have been abused in ways that make me want to scream. They bear physical scars to remind them that this world is cruel and evil. Yet, nothing compares to the hurt and distrust that lies within their heart. These children are broken.

On my blog I thrive to be transparent and honest. So even though I am giving an update for the Colombia Grace Foundation blog as well, I desire to continue in this manner. This ministry is incredibly hard! I wake up each day on my knees asking the Lord to show up. I have been given the task to have primarily responsibility over these fragile gifts and I am over my head each and every day. As we say here “if the Lord does not show up, we are done!” While this comment could go much deeper, I will just say that for the first time I understand what it means to “trust in the Lord with all your heart. And lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).” While I have gone through tough adversity and trials, I have never been in this situation. What I see has happened is that I have finally moved directly behind the Lord in this journey to be His hands and feet among the nations. And when you stand behind the Almighty, you can’t see what is in front of you. You simply have to follow him step for step and have faith in Who is leading you. Working here in Colombia is a blessing. I am humbled to have this calling. However, this is more than I can handle.

Geiner, Carlos, and all of us need Jesus. He is our only answer to everything we are experiencing. God is making it clear to us that the children we will most like be caring for are not the adorably thankful children seen in other ministries. These are shattered abused children that have already been selling drugs, been involved in prostitution, and have learned to trust no one. But even in that tough sentence, I smile, because I already have seen the Lord working in ways I can’t explain. May He receive all glory and honor as He fills their deep wounds and rebuilds there precious hearts. I promise to write more about “my boys.”

I can’t believe this is most as long as Josh’s last blog…! Please pray for me, Stacey, Mike, Josh, Julie, Fernando, Daiver, Erianis, Geiner, Carlos and the rest of the family and friends whom the Lord has brought to El Nido de Gracia.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.” – 1 Peter 5:10

I miss you all,

Eric

Reaction from "Words..."

My last blog “Words…” caused a small reaction.

I received a few email of encouragement. People telling me to keep my head up and that what I am doing here is commendable.

A few of you wrote me to ask for more details. That you really did not understand what I was writing about.

I got a few notes from people telling me they were honestly concerned.

In all that I read, I was very thankful to have people in my life who felt led to share a thought or two with me regarding what I had wrote.

But in all the emails I received, one of the very first ones had a huge impact. It was from a man whom I have admired for many years. He is a very important person for a major hospital in Nashville. He lovingly told me that though he found my blogs to be interesting and funny at times, he never found them to be inspirational until he read this last one. He told me that finally I was someone whom he could relate to. I admire him because he is truly a man after God. While I have not always agreed with a few professional decisions he has made, that never impacted who I believed him to be. With that said, what he shared with me was humbling and very convicting.

While I am not about to make this blog the heaviest read on the internet, I desire to be transparent. There is something amazing when someone is sincerely able to say “me too.” Whether you are the one saying it or hearing it really doesn’t matter. It is a freeing moment when we begin to see we are not alone in our struggles and fears. What I have seen in my short time on this world is that only few people are this way. While I know many of you may cringe at the thought of me sharing the tough things I encounter here in Colombia, I bet there are a few who might find comfort in it as well.

So I encourage you to be transparent. If not with your friends and family close by, maybe with a kid thousands of miles away living in the land of rice and plantains. But please know I am just someone who wants to listen. Someone who is willing to go to the Father in prayer for you! Someone who will simply point you to the only place I have ever found comfort and understanding. I am not sure where I would be without the few people who did this for me so I want to open that door to anyone who is in need.

Also, a decision was made last week that changes my entire life. However, to play the dramatic card and to acknowledge the fact I am not ready to write about it yet, I ask you to stay tuned. However, I am stoked to share this thing that God has done for me.

Hope all is good in your hood!

E

Words

In the past words for this blog have come easy. Lately they have not.

I write when I am inspired. I write when I am convicted. I write when I am encouraged. But I don't write when I struggling. I don't write when I feel weak and hypocritical. I don't write when I am utterly consumed with myself.

This is about to change.

I am struggling with purity. I am struggling with pride. I am struggling with idolatry.

I have not glorified the Father through relationships that I have had here in Colombia. I have hurt people because of my selfishness. I have not made wise choices. I have increased the number of things I will one day have to share with my future wife.

I want to be a great teacher. I want to truly make this english program one of the best in Cartagena. I want people to notice the hard work we are doing and the lives that will be changed by these efforts.

While not always the most efficent, I work hard for this school. I work hard for the people who gave me this opportunity. I work hard for the kids. I work hard because it's my job and that is what I have been taught to do.

Now reading over this I know many would say that some of these things are not so bad. That every one has done a few things they might take back. That the desire to be recognized is natural. That being driven is admirable. But in this moment of vunerability, I want to say that I am done believing that.

I don't want to be "weak." I don't want to be "self-absorbed." I don't want to be "busy."

I want self-control. I want to be selfless. I want to be purposeful.

My faith is not lost. My faith is holding me together. My glory is not His purpose. My purpose is for His glory. Strength is not by my might. By His might I find my strength.

Does God truly need me to accomplish His will...no. But He has called us to be His hands and feet and for that I am willing. Please pray over these things in my life as I truly want nothing more than to see our Father exalted in everything I do. And sorry that I have let shame keep me away from this blog.

E

You are the Light of the world

Imagine the horizon looking like it is seriously on fire! Something so fierce that you wonder if something supernatural is happening. Intermixed within the vibrant shades of red and orange are amazing streaks of purple and blue. It’s almost like the night and day were fighting each other. This was the few I was captured by as my plane left Ft. Lauderdale.

Over the last few days in America, I let the madness that is wanting to say goodbye to everyone while also preparing to return to a developing country interfere with my time with the Lord. As a result I felt I like the walls were closing in on me. I began questioning if I had made the right decision. In my visits with everyone, I felt loved. I started to become sad that these friendships I feel so blessed to have, would once again be tested by living abroad. In a very weird way, I started to resent God for opening these doors for me.

But as I sat down in 18A on a Spirit Airlines flight heading to Cartagena, Colombia I just started to pray. I asked our Father for forgiveness for these thoughts. I begged for grace to be every part of the man He called me to be that day. I reflected on our time together last year and how obvious that He was there every step of the way. When I was seriously struggling and feeling completely alone (not everything made the blog), He lifted me up in a way that’s hard to describe. My most amazing experience was not with the family in Santa Ana that I love dearly, nor with my students, it was the nights I would just walk around the little dirt soccer field at our school. From the amazing sunsets, the stars that felt just yards away from me, the breeze that divinely also brought peace and joy, to the almost audible voice that would flood everything part of telling me “I am with you.” Spending time in His true presence is worth a lifetime of memories.

I slipped on my IPod and began to pray along with the song by Passion called Prepare the Way. Just as the chorus “You are the light of the world” was being sung, the sun began to rise. It was one of the most beautiful and powerful things I have ever seen. The Light of the world, the King of the earth, is always going to be with this scared little kid! The God who made that beautiful spectacle I was captured by, simply wants nothing more than for me to always look at Him in that manner. And it was overwhelming in that moment that how could I not! For where I have come, what I have done, who I have been, I am simple blown away that He would send his one and only son, to die for me, so that by grace, through faith, in Christ alone, I would appear blameless in His sight.

So which leads me to say that I have returned to my home in Santa Ana, Colombia ready to simple be His hands and feet among these people. I can report that while I had an awesome reunion with “my family” and friends here in the pueblo, I am now buried in a huge curriculum overhaul project the principal sprung on us just a week out from classes. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I hammer this initiative out in before those little gremlins return. Also keep the new 8 WorldTeach Volunteers that will be arriving this Saturday on your list as well. To what I have read and heard, these kids are going to rock! We have a ton of stuff to do but I know they are going to be huge blessing to me, this school, and the community of Santa Ana!

Entonces, hablamos pronto! Dios te bendiga!

Eric

Give Us What You Got

Happy New Year!

I came across this excerpt from the War of Art on a professional triathletes blog.

Steven Pressfield is a former Marine who has written some great novels and screenplays over the years. The subtitle to this particular books is Break Through The Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles. The direction of this motivational book was to help writers overcome the imfamous "writers block" but this particular excerpt is rich in meaning to all of us.

Get past the military-like tone its written in and find it's message. I think in its roughness lies a beautiful perspective that may lead us off the bench and into the game wherever you are.

Have a great and blessed day!

E

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The Artist’s Life - by Steven Pressfield

“Are you a born writer? Were you put on the Earth to be painter, a scientist, an apostle of peace? In the end the question can only be answered by action.

Do it or don’t do it.

It may help you to think of it this way. If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and you don’t do it, you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself. You hurt your children. You hurt me. You hurt the planet.

You shame the angels who watch over you and you spite the Almighty, who created you and only you with your unique gifts, for the sole purpose of nudging the human race one millimeter farther along its path back to God.

Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. Its a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.”